My first such encounter was with one Felix Avocado, who I quickly had to trap in a mini-vac to stop him scaring my patients away.
They’re not only responsible for making sure your hospital stays attractive and hygienic by cleaning up rubbish and the occasional pool of vom, but also restocking vending machines, watering plants, repairing machines and occasionally, ghostbusting. Staff aren’t cheap, so hire too many to pick up the slack and you’ll quickly find yourself deeper in the red than a surgeon’s scalpel in the body of a games reviewer recently stabbed for making too many medical puns. In practise (hehe), you’ll need to work fast to make sure every individual aspect is running like clockwork. Healthy, happy, and thoroughly fleeced.Īt least, that’s the idea. Patients pour in, you keep them happy while they wait, diagnose them, treat them, charge them ridiculous sums of money, and they leave. You hire doctors, nurses, assistants and janitors, and fill your hospital with things like plants, benches, and vending machines to keep your customers and staff happy and refreshed. GP’s offices for diagnoses, pharmacies for treatment, various specialist clinics for diseases, and utilities like staff rooms and toilets. Hospitals are functionally flat floor plans, which you fill out by laying down rooms. Complete some challenges, get a star, unlock a more complicated stage. Across fifteen locations, you attempt to build and manage reputable and profitable hospitals, while also completing a number of side objectives to increase the star rating of each. Who I then infected with flu, killed during treatment, sucked their ghost up with a Hoover, and charged them a few grand for the privilege.įor those of you too fresh faced to know your Super Toilets from your Boggy Crappers, here’re the basics of Two Point Hospital. It’s been given a fresh coat of paint in most of the places that count, but as someone who grew up with Theme Hospital, sitting down with this excellent game (viewed by many as a spiritual successor to Theme Hospital) was just like reuniting with an old friend. If it is reluctance, though, you wouldn’t know it from playing Two Point Hospital. Good natured, but with just a hint of sardonic self-awareness at the oddness of strapping down a twenty year old comatose classic for a thorough defibrillation. A weary, wry sigh from the Bullfrog and Lionhead vets heading up Two Point Studios. There’s a subtle, almost sarcastic reluctance in these words.
“Patients are promised” drones a pitch-perfect parody of every radio host ever smushed up together in a partridge-esque, play-doh monstrosity “they’ll feel totally next-gen” As with many of your accomplishments, the local radio will inform the people of Two Point County of the new advancement.
To treat them, you’ll need to research and build a Resolution Lab complete with Debugger. You’ll know when you’ve got an epidemic on your hands, because you’ll start to notice dozens of low-res, pixel-stricken ill flickering about your corridors. One of the many malicious maladies that can befall your patients in Two Point Hospital is ‘8-bitten’.
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